Everything is temporary. Even if it doesn't feel like it.
As a senior in high school, I am well-versed in the world of feeling stuck. It is the bane of my existence. I am ready to go, to experience something, to do something. No matter how many lovely people or things I have going for me in my life right now, I feel like everything is marked by the mundane, filled with the same old ideas that I've been drudging through since I was a child.
The most frustrating part of this is that there is no solution. I can't fix myself or even change my environment drastically. It just has to be waited out.
(Sorry for the amount of teenager-angst there was in that bit. I'll try to avoid it from now on.)
There's a fine line between being a pushover, picking your arguments, and just being plain argumentative.
I feel like this is something I struggle with- not so much the pushover part, but the other two. And the balance between the two is interesting because it truly depends on the place I'm in, the people I'm with, and, hell, sometimes even the day.
In public I can be far too willing to wait... and wait... and then wait a bit more as I watch and listen to things that aggravate me. Then when I'm finally pushed over the edge, I burst, normally in a fashion that's a bit too over the top. And I'm not quite sure if this could be fixed by speaking my mind more often (and less emphatically) or simply becoming more patient. Honestly, probably both.
And on the other side of the Morgan's-anger spectrum is when I'm with family and friends (admittedly, mostly family). I will snap like a twig. No, I probably don't even have the resistance of a twig. It's more like one of those itsy bitsy wafer cookies. I snap with little encouragement but with far less bellicosity.
People don't really change. Sadly.
This sentiment seems to be smacking me in the face lately in different forms of media (Frozen, anyone?), and I've been giving it quite a bit of thought. I've come to the conclusion that I agree with it for the most part. The only way for people to change is slowly, by taking painful baby steps towards the end goal. And I feel like very, very few people truly do this.
Now I'm kicking myself for writing that on New Years. It's a bit of a downer now that I think about it. But I still feel, despite the millions and billions of resolutions being made at the moment, that it's borderline impossible for people to motivate themselves towards real change. Circumstances change and ages change, and that can force people in to altering their lives, but just changing your personality like flipping a switch is definitely next to impossible.
And in conclusion:
I've written a fairly depressing blog post. Happy New Years Eve.
I promise, not all of my posts will be this thoughtful and downer-esque. Makeup and books shall be coming soon (and those things put me in far better moods!). I believe I'm just feeling a tad bit pensive because of being cooped up, and because the thought of going back to school the day after tomorrow is physically painful. (Insert melodramatic gif here.)
In an effort to redeem this post, I'll leave you with this: I honestly do hope that you have a great start to your year! Have a great time tonight, be safe, and be thankful for everything that you have. Plus, we can all take solace in the fact that SHERLOCK PREMIERES TOMORROW! Color me incredibly excited.
Love y'all! Talk to you soon!
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